end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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