i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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