its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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