What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize