I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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