guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I can't turn off my feet"
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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