Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Even my vagina gasped.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
