If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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