she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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