i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
