It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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