im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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