the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
