Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
