12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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