"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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