But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
