I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
jump out the window naked night went bad
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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