What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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