Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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