u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
