oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
