which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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