butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
