I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
