so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
