I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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