So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
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