good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
