It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
