I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
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Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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