I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
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you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
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The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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