Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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