i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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