I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
a search helicopter?!
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
