the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
