dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize