My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Randomize
