Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
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I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
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I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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