Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
