our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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