was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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