can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
