buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
