Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just want to make out with him forever
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
