Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
