How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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