Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
