dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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