so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
