I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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