I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
