yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
