wat bout pragnant strippers??
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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