I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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