Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
