They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
