Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
